Writings

Numaish

Kuchh alfaaz du is dard-e-dil ko bus aisi thi meri khwaish.
aaj padhu to lagta hai ki inhi lafzo ne kar di hai humari numaish.

Unsaid

When she said you mean the world to me,
she meant every breath.
When he left her, so did her world
and so did she unsaid.

Ehsaas

Unn silvato me uski khushboo thi,
uss maun me uski baatein,
uss hawa me uski chalti saanse.
khamoshi me uski aahatein,
aur unn akele andheri raaton me uska chehra.

uske jaane ke baad... uske sath hone ka ehsaas.


In the silence of darkness

The dogs cried I wonder why?

And then suddenly they shut!

They did not growl n no more howled

As if they were never there.

I think they feel

Something might go wrong

And tried to warn us all.

But we lay dead in our beds

Behind these blind walls.

Run away

I dream about the dream I dreamt

And I wanna dream about it again.

Chills run through my body and my heart becomes numb.

I feel nothing but the heat inside my head and my eyes that burn.

The ones who touch me that moment

Fear why am I so cold?

Is my dream telling me the story untold?

I try and jumble, fix and retry,

I break and join bits together to make sense of that sight.

I sit still, clueless but with a lot more to think about.

Is it the past, future or the present’s shout?

I hear everything and then suddenly, nothing at all.

I wander through those buildings so tall.

That heat cuts through my feet, my eyes pleasing to be able to see.

My head tells me to pause, my heart, to console.

But my dream takes me ahead, I continue to stroll.

I notice, live, breathe,

I smile, avoid and cry

I walk further and turn.

There is no path behind.

There is no one there.

There is no light, no music, life or even air.

I turn back to my dream and run away to another extreme.


Kuchh dabbi dabbi si khwahishe

Kuchh muskurahato me band hai,

Jo halak se utarte nahi

Kuchh unn lafzo me kaed

Kuchh unn aankho me aakar

Nammi me beet jaati hai.

Kuchh aesi jo umeed chhod jaye,

Aur kuchh unn aankho ke andhere me kho jaye.

Kabhi wo jasba de,

Sub haasil kar paane ka,

Aur kabhi wo dikhaye, tum jo hakeekat nahi bana paye.

Kuchh palti hai, kuchh murjhaati hai,

Kuchh badalti hai, kuchh bad jaati hai.

Kuchh dabbi dabbi si khwahishe

Bus aisa ehsaas de jaati hai.

Kuchh sun kar nazar andaaz ki jaati hai,

Kuchh bin kahe dikh jaati hai,

Kuchh aate hi sath chhod jaati hai.

Kuchh logo ke darr se,

Khudkhushi apnati hai.

Kuchh haalaat se majbor, kuchh bus kamzor hoti jaati hai.

Kuchh dabbi dabbi si khwahishe,

Aesa ehsaas de jaati hai.

Kuchh pal ki khushi ya ghum de jaati hai,

Kuchh yaadein aur aansu le aati hai,

Kuchh aage badne ki chah

Aur kuchh sirf dard de jaati hai.

Kuchh dabbi dabbi si khwahishe

Aesa ehsaas de jaati hai.


Instruction manual by a coolie

Wo subah subah sooraj ke sath uthna

Aur din ki shuruwaat garma garam

Chai ki bheeni khushboo se karna.

Fir wo dhua udaati aur seeti bajaati

Rail gaadi ka rukna, uske payiye rukne se pehle hi,

Humari dod ka shuru ho jaana.

Uss aneko ki bheed me,

Koi kisi ko jaane na jaane

Par har koi hume zaroor pehchaan jaata hai,

Is laal kameez aur gumchhe ka rob hi kuchh aesa hai.

Ab chhota muh badi baat

Par har koi pehchaanega hi,

Bhai, social worker hai hum,

Logo ke liye karte hai,

Aur ab bhala is me koi

Mazdoori ka kaam thodi na hai.

Chhae! Hum to bus thoda boje uthaa ke

Apne kandhe mazboot banate hai.

Ek hi raaz ki baat hai bus,

Ye jo itna samaan sar pe uthaye

Ghoomte hai na… kono badi baat nahi,

Eeka ek spesal(special) tareeka hai,

Arre! Jaise bachpan me

Pithhu ke patthar rakhte the na,

Bus! Ussi tarah,

Subse bade saaman ko neeche aur

Usse chhote uske upar

Ho gaya!

Waise to humare dushman hai nahi,

Lekin aaj kal ye pahiye waale aetaachiyon ne

Kaam ka mazza kharaab kar diya hai.

Par bhala ho in seediyon ka,

Hisaab se badla le leti hai.

Arre haan! Iss kaam me

Tumhara mukabla bohot tez cheez se hai,

Rail gaadi!

Tumhara maksat isski tezi ko maat dena hai,

Jitne “late lateef” logo ko

Gaadi par chadwa doge,

Utni safalta paogay.

To bus in paero ko pahiye ki raftaar se

Tez chalana.

Lekin ye duniya itni shaant nahi,

Kai khari khoti sunayenge,

Par iss jagah ki ek khoobi hai,

Ye tumhe aur bohot saari aawaze

Sunne ka mauka degi,

Jo itni zor ki hongi ki tum

Wo kadwi boli

Nazar andaaz kar paogay.

Ab unn ki hi sun lo,

Jo kaise apni madhur aawaaz me

Hume saari aati jaati

Rail gaadiyon ke bare me batati hai.

Main sochta hun, bichari kitni mehnat karti hai,

Aese ek hi dhun me alag alag jaankaari

Dena  koi aasaan baat thodi na hai bhala.

Hmmm, ye station bhi

Bohot anokhi jagah hai,

Tumhe kitna kuchh deti hai,

Ek hi jagah par alag alag khushbooye!

Mausam ka aankho dekha haal,

Roz naye chehre, nayi baate,

Naye kisse,

Aate hue logo ki khushiyan

Jaate hue logo ka gum

Aur kabhi aansu bhi,

Aur bina kahin bhi jaye

Har jagah ke logo se milne ka mauka.

Log aate hai,

Log jaate hai,

Humari duniya yahin pe basi reh jaati hai,

Lekin ye zindagi thamti nahi,

Uss lehraate hue hare jhande ke sath sath

Bus yuhin

Guzarti rehti hai.


Alfaaz

Aaj dil kara ki in panno pe kuchh alfaaz ho

Pad sake iss mann ki awaaz ko

Ho sake to yaad rakhe log

Kuchh aisa andaaz ho

Iss dil ki har dhadkan ki ek goonj ho

Uss soch me chhipi ek bhook ho

Uss poochti awaaz ki pehchaan ho

Bus aisa kuchh khaas ehsaas ho

Lafzo me zindagi bayaan ho

Un lamho ka aazaan ho

Uss bitaye safar ki aisi baat ho

Har bitaye zarre me kuchh khaas ho

Muskurate hue lamho me aankhe namm ho

Na koi chhipaye ghum ho

Unkahee baatein padh sako

Wo syahi na kabhi rakh ho


Aaj fir

Aaj fir laga ki ek arsa jee liya
unn yaadon me,
Sirhaana achanak bheegne laga
Raaton me.
Wo neend chhini fir se
lekin ek naye bahane se,
Wo awaaz sunni
is viraane me.
Chhup jao tum abhi ke abhi
ki ye duniya fir se tumhe chheen na le,
Kahin is andhere me bhi wo tumhe
dhoond nan le.
Thaam lo apni dhadkano ko ab,
meri dhadkano se jeena seekh lo,
kahin wo tumhare dil ko sunn na le,
kahin wo usse...
Aaj fir laga...
Bus chhup jao.

Who must apologize ?

Premise

A man who is struggling to confront his wife because he is guilty of his affair and feels worse when he gets to know that his wife is expecting. But there is something much more his wife has to tell him about.

Synopsis

The wife is tensed and worried. She has been avoiding her husband since he got back from his business trip a month ago. She prepares herself mentally to confront him finally. She makes an extra effort in making a good meal for her husband that night. She opens the door for him, makes him a drink, and does everything to make him feel at ease. He is feeling terrible and tells her not to do it. He walks to her and hugs her. The wife is scared as he has never shown such affection to her all these years. She nervously asks him what the matter is. He kneels down and apologizes. He confesses how he had been in an affair from past 6 months, since he had gone to London for his business trip for 5 months and was regretting it now. The wife is shocked, and much more nervous about how he is going to handle the news she had give. The husband then holds her from her waist and kisses her stomach and tells her how happy he was to know that she was expecting a child and so was ready to change completely. The wife freezes and while standing there looks at the envelope on the table, pulls out the report and reads to herself. Pregnancy test- positive. 3^rd month. She keeps standing with her eyes wide open, motionless.

Characters-

Wife, in her early 30’s, pretty and very confident. Outgoing and extremely friendly. Gets along with everyone very easily. Have been in a married relationship for 5 years and lived a life very opposite to her nature. Been restricted by her husband she has been suppressing her desires.

Husband, in his mid 30’s. Got married because of family pressure and is ignorant about his wife but still puts a lot of restrictions on her.

Kya tum?

Jin galiyon se guzarte ho

Unn galiyon pe kya laut paogay tum?

Unn rooth te manate lamho ko

Kya kabhi bhula paogay tum?

Har pal me wo bina matlab ki hassi

Ko kya kabhi rok paogay tum?

Iss saekdo ki bheed me ubhar paogay

Ya ghum ho jaogay tum?

Fraction of Dream 

With my hair let down,

I just want to lie on the ground.

Stoned. Staring at the blank ceiling,

Holding on tightly to that old feeling.

Nothing to say, nothing to hear, nothing to think,

Nothing’s there to weep.

Still, silent,

I lay clueless without any sleep.

Darkness all around, with a piercing little light.

Shut it down please, I want to hide.

I don’t want to sense anything, no whisper, no shout.

Nothing which will creep me out.

It’s not disgust, it’s just discomfort.

It’s when I wake up from my fraction of dream

It hurts.

Don’t look at me like that,

I will start expecting again.

I look away, but it’s not being rude

It’s only to be away from you.

Pull me out from those flashes,

It weakens me.

Makes my cheeks feel wet

And my vision gets blur.

It’s not disgust, it’s just discomfort.

It’s when I wake up from my fraction of dream

It hurts.

Wish I could

Wish I could I write my life like this,

Like the way you write a song.

Wish I could sing all those memories,

That too all day long.

Wish I could write

to bring your eyes to cry

To make your lips smile.

Wish I could shoot my life like a movie

With many takes & retakes

Someone to make me look perfect always

And could take a popcorn break.

People keen to know what’s next

And someone else who directs.

Wish I cook my life like a dish

With right proportions of salt & sweet,

Aroma that reminds you of me.

A simple twist from right to left

 to put the boil to hault.

I wish I could enact out my life as a mime

With only expressions & no words

Letting me delete everything

which should not have been said or heard.

With no greed of materials,

To be satisfied with body gestures.

Wish I could paint my life

the way an artist paints.

With colours of every mood,

From red to darkest greys,

And somewhere in the middle

To leave the canvas blank.

Mixed with strokes of brush,

And fingertips of those hands.

Wish my life will be a sweet memory

To all I know today.